i rescue myself

things are happening

and i'll always wish you were by my side 

to witness them

i've become so strong since

you have no idea

having to rely on myself 

made me tougher,

my insides are not so soft anymore, 

i don't rescue people anymore. 

it's like being the last one to let go of their lover’s hand

but a hand is not a heart

and it doesn't leave a bloody soul behind

And i said, with tears in my eyes, "how can i choose you if i can't choose myself?". 

I don't desire to be loved like this.. i don't want to ruin another heart because i hate myself. 

I don't have that luxury. 

get

out

of

my

mind

please.

hyperaware-ism

I'm not really sure

That all of the bad shit

I tell myself (about me)

Is untrue. 

and if i stay on the edge of the sea, 
will my shadow drown in the waves?