it has always been like this

give it all to her,
while i'm still survivng in this never ending thirst.
drench her in water
while silent whispers escape my cracked lips

keep holding her hand
and kicking my head
into the ground

my lungs are filled with dirt,
the screams are getting louder
but her music has deafened you
go figure

i'm used to this,
feeling
the dread of this never ending,
drought

mom, is this love?

li(v)e

think of your mom,
how it would hurt her heart so bad
to have given life
and see it end before her eyes

think of your dad,
who gives the warmest hugs,
and how he'd wish they were enough

think of your friends,
the ones that listened closely
and the ones that didn't know how closely
they needed to listen

live for them,
until you can start
living for me you

do it again,
wake up tomorrow,
do it again,
for them
(for me you)

the universe (of love)

when does the moon start
and the sun end,
when you open your eyes?
i can't seem to tell

the freckles line up
like stars
across your back,
i'm lost in your night sky

my heart was eclipsed
by the love in your lips,
and my lungs collapsed
with the fresh air
within you hair

i'm broken
and healed
i'm in halves,
and complete
i'm mine
and yours
to have
(to have)

ashamed

it feels like i'm stuck in a fever dream

wishing, wishing

but never achieving

i dream with big castles

yet never lay down the foundation,

and it's like i'm drowning in wet concrete 

i'm scared

that someone else's success

means

that i won't achieve my own

i'm scared

of the simple life

and the slim possibility

that i'd be content with it

i'm scared

to not live up 

to myself

but, mostly, i'm scared

to amount to something,

anything,

and lose it all