hero's complex.

If i have to be honest

I felt relieved.

It felt so lonely being in your presence.

It always felt so lonely. 

I rather not save you next time around,

I'm tired of sinking myself for others. 

to killed or be killed

I invited sheep into the lion's den,

but they were just wolves in lamb's clothing

and they turned on me. 

it's a promise

 you should never let a wildfire run free
it could burn you inside out.
I will burn you inside out.

there is nothing left to lose.
expendable.

what if I keep it forever?

I know this familiar dread way too closely

It's starting to set in after a long while

I'm afraid it won't leave this time.

It doesn't have a reason not to. 

and i won't open the door either

I'm still saving your seat the the table,

how much longer will i play the fool?

You are not coming.

LIFE PLAN

a life without purpose

it's a relief 

and also a hindering thought

and medicated

 six years ago i stood in that crowd and couldn't feel a single thing
I was numb, broken and bare. 
last week I stood in the same crowd, in front of the same people, and was free.
free from the weight of my wounds albeit having been teared open
shouting at the top of my lungs, 
free.

unreliable narrator

 healing? maybe?
but scarred for life.
loneliness never scared me
until it wasn't a choice
(I made for myself)
(you made it)